ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
