Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
That's intense
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
