Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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