what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
