I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My feet surprised me
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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