I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
