p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
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Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
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Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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