I think i peed on brittanys purse
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
