They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
