if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We have so much sex to catch up on
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
