I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
