He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
