dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
