i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize