you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
