Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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