There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
