sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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