Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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