only if we run a train.
done.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
