They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
