Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
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I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
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He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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