Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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