Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
