she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
