If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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