I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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