My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
