we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
that may or may not have been my penis.
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