I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
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My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
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I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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