Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
