3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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