im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
