Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
