No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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