How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
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I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
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I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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