Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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