So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
