im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
