he was CRYING into my vagina
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
