Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
