Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
