he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
