We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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