Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize