WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
