He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
