I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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