There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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