the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
