I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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