so that wasnt chicken after all
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If I die, sorry about rent.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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