Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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