i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
