you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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