I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
