please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
