when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
