id be glad to
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
