Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
