he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize